Daily Conversation

Everyone likes to have a little conversation once in awhile. This is pretty much how a conversation with my 2 year old goes:
Me: Hollis, you need to finish your lunch.
H: No. I just need to touch your ring.
H: I touched it. Is it white?
Me: Yes.
H: Is it white? (in a more persistent tone)
Me: Yes, it's white.
H: Is it white, mom?
Me: Hollis, I just told you yes, it's white.
H: Mom, are you wearing a necklace?
Me: No.
H: But I just want to touch it.
etc. etc. etc.

midlife crisis?

So, I'm turning 30 in a few months, and aging has been on my mind a lot lately. Actually, the day I turned 29 it really hit me that I'm getting older. A part of me seriously believes I'm still the same person that I was when I was 18. Yet another more logical part (the part that sees gray hairs coming in, crows feet at my eyes, wrinkles on my forhead, and "age spots" on my body) knows that I am definitely not 18. Besides the above mentioned things I've noticed on my aging body I have really been struck by the fact that I can no longer comfortably wear things in the Juniors section.

Not only has my body changed (especially after having a baby), but the clothing itself is just too "young" looking. I hear Stacy and Clinton from TLC's What Not To Wear saying, "Would a 30 yr old wear that? You're not 15, take off the shirt w/ small hearts and butterflies and try somethin more sophisticated." I also hear them saying, "That outfit needs more 'structure' to hold you in place a little more."

My plan for my 30th b-day is this: 30 by 30. I will reveal later what that plan is. Don't want to jinx it before it begins, but starting next week, I plan to make a few changes so that the plan will succeed. I DO NOT want to wake up on my birthday, look in the mirror and be sad. I DO NOT want to think that my image and self esteem are all down hill from here. I want to do things that will encourage me and make me believe the best in my life is yet to come!

So is this a midlife crisis? Today I've only mentioned the more visible aspects of aging. Tomorrow I may write more on the mental and spiritual things I've been wrestling with in this aging crisis of mine.

Until then, think young, but dress appropriately.:)

G.

Nose kisses and other cuteness

My son is so cute. And as he gets older he does more and more heartwarming things. For instance, the other day we were walking in the store and I was holding him. My nose was congested and I said, "My nose hurts." Hollis immediately put both his hands on my cheeks to hold my head still and with a determined look in his eye he leaned in to kiss my nose. I ducked b/c I didn't want him to get my germs and he ended up kissing the bridge of my nose near an eye. He asked, "Does that feel better, mom?" So sweet.

Hollis loves to make people laugh. If he does something that warrants a laugh, then he will do it over and over hoping for the same laugh response. His uncle Shawn has warned him that he must work on new material and not overuse what works.:)

I really need to do a better job of making notes of all the cute stuff he does. I will try to do that more.

G.

Blogging on Blogging

So, I've been thinking a lot about blogging lately. I spend a lot of time thinking about lots of things and my problem is I spend too much time thinking and not enough time acting. If I spent as much time exercising as I think about the fact I should be exercising, I'd be 15 lbs. thinner.

But I digress...So what I've been thinking about blogging is this: Is it totally self absorbed???? The answer I find is no. There are some blogs I read for the information. Like the WAJ blog by Sue Smith. Very informative. And I really like reading my friends blogs b/c I love to know what's going on in their lives and unlike when we were teen agers, I don't have hours to spend on the phone hearing all the details. So, blogs allows them to share and me to see the details of their lives that I might otherwise miss. So, in all I like blogging.

Yet, I still struggle with feeling self absorbed when I write. And then there are all the blogging annoyances. Such as - where to blog?? I have a blog on myspace which I use sometimes:
www.myspace.com/gertie77 but I don't know if this site or another site would get better traffic. And do I really need to care about traffic. I guess I need to let people know where to find me if I want them to read my blog. Otherwise, it really doesn't matter much. Another annoyance I have is that WindowsLive is so annoying in the fact that to comment on someones blog you are required to have an account with them. ANNOYING!!! Anyway...that's about all I have to say about that.

All in all, blogging is good. Gets out the gunk in my mind. Lets me drain the bucket where all the thoughts swirl together so that I can distill them and finally pause for a moment to have one cohesive thought. Hopefully.

So, blog on, bloggers. Blog on.
G.

Mind Mish-mesh

What all goes through my head in one day? Here are some random thoughts pulled from my brain today....

'Why did I drink a caffeinated beverage so close to bed time last night?... Should my hair be this color?... I can't wait to go to Nashville for my songwriting workshop.... If I didn't have a 2 year old I was constantly around, would 2 year old screaming tantrums be less or more annoying?... How exactly do they make fish sticks...Minced fish.......hmmm....What will we eat for dinner?... I can pretty much guarantee it's not gonna be fish sticks...

G.

So, one month then...

My intention was to blog almost every day, or every day. But, as you can see, it's been one month.
What's happened in that month? Everyone in my house got that strange flu going around, I traveled w/ Hollis to Spfld. to see family and be near as my dad went through surgery (which he came out of very well, thank God), had friends come visit us for a weekend. So, it's been pretty busy.

The highlight of the month for me was my Stl. Songwriter's meeting. I always LOVE these meetings and because I haven't been to one since AUGUST, I was super excited to go. And it was so fun! I always feel so pumped and more creative when I leave those meetings.

I had really been struggling with my creativity or lack of creativity recently. I just felt like no matter what I did I couldn't come up with any good ideas, any good lyrics, nothing. A fellow songwriter and blogger Allie mentioned on her blog that sometimes we upset the TRY monster. As in, we try to hard and nothing gets done. That's exactly what it was like. I can find myself slipping in this mode where I feel like what I put out has to be wonderful, and therefore get stuck. Because, not everything will be wonderful. And I'm just starting out so more often than not, what I do is gonna need a lot of work. So, it's not about only putting out wonderful songs. It's about putting out songs, period. I just need to do it. And hopefully, the more I do it, the more wonderful it will become.

G.

I like Blogger

Let me just say that I have tried blogging on other sites, and blogger makes it so easy! Claps to them. Not a whole lot to share today. Or maybe it's one of those days where there's a cacophony in my head and I can't sort it out to put a single thought down. Either way, I'm not gonna write much today.:) If you're interested there's another blog of mine on www.myspace.com/gertie77.

So, I realize that's a little boring for a first entry on a new blog site. Hmmmm. Let me put something down then. Adoption.....there's something I could go on about for awhile. If you're interested, stay tuned. Maybe I'll blog about that tomorrow, or the day after that.

Here's one thought. I'm happy. Happy where I am in my life. I have a 2 year old son that I get to stay home with every day. I'm getting to pursue a dream in becoming a songwriter. I really enjoy my church and my church family. And, it snowed 6 inches last night which has made for one of those easy going, cozy up on the couch, eat comfort foods, snow days. I am blessed.
I don't always know why God has chosen me to have this life I lead, which is so wonderful.
But, I am very thankful for it.

G.