I went to China recently. No big thing. No big plan. My boss had earned enough free miles to send myself and a coworker there to see our factories and understand more about our business.
I am a part-time employee. My being there was not significant, or even really needed, it just worked out that it was a good time to go. So we went.
There is now a pin in my brain that is stuck there - holding the images, the people, the culture in my mind. For now I have that pin in the recesses of my brain, in a corner, that is dark, that I'd like to stay dark....and yet....
Over 15 years ago, I sat in a college advertising class and was given an assignment to do a PSA campaign. My partner was adamant that we choose "the adoption of older children," as our campaign. I was not impressed. I thought - that sounds boring, who cares, who would want to adopt an older child anyway, and let's not....and yet....she convinced me, and so we did the campaign, and a pin was stuck in my brain.
As far as Facebook tells me, my partner is married, no kids. Here I am, a couple months away from adopting a seven year old boy.
In China, I was struck by many things - the fact they use toothpicks after every meal at the table, there seem to be no real road rules and yet we only saw one accident were a woman was standing in the middle of road crying next to her broken scooter (no one stopping to help her I might add), and the amount of trash everywhere (at least in one city we were in).
But also, the poverty, the lostness, the money gods in the storefronts with food given and incense burning for the statue. I cried to Andy over Skype. My heart was breaking for these people, that I was ready to leave behind. Breaking for a culture that sometimes had me tightening my tongue and throat, clenching my teeth and closing my nose as to not breathe in my surroundings.
I've been asked if I'd like to go back to China. My response, "Once was enough," and yet the pin is there. I continue to think of it, and I wonder - once was enough for me, but will the Spirit inside me convince the rest of me otherwise. Time will tell...maybe 15 years...maybe not...but here is this blog, so if in time I am there again, I can look here and say, ah, yes. I was definitely on the brink.
Or, maybe this is like the pin in my brain about being a famous singer - because that never happened.
Well, at least not yet...;)
